Angst

I have been keeping myself really busy with projects and fun days out and good times with Jhonen, yet I still feel this anxiety that I'm not making a difference in this world and my days are ticking by to quickly for comfort. Every day I have a bit of a knot in my stomach wondering and worrying about what I can do, what I should do, what I want to do. Indecisiveness, an inability to commit, and astronomical expectations of myself are starting to ensnare me in this anxiety web and I need to free myself one way or another. So that's what I'm working on when I'm not taking tons of photos, submitting some photos to this cool digital photography school website I found that gives weekly assignments, writing my little twitter poems, reading lots of books trying (unsuccessfully) to reach 50 before the end of the year, taking Jhonen out to visit relatives or to the park or to the zoo. Don't get me wrong! I'm having fun! There's just a sort of aching feeling like, if I'm not careful, I'm going to slip into a sort of meaningless existence and one day I'll look back and wish I hadn't given up on myself. There's an intellectual hole that I need to fill as soon as possible.