My first art gift bestowed to Tom and Lori for Christmas. I had been thinking about painting their prized backyard for a while and thought Christmas might be an appropriate occasion. I will never forget Lori's beautiful sunflowers and decided to add it into the picture, too.
The new year has arrived. It is 1:30am on January 1st and, looking back, painting was one of the very best things about this year. That and my new camera. I got a telephoto lens for Christmas and it has made such an amazing difference in the quality of shots I can take. This was the year of the hobby and I had such a fun time painting, cooking, reading, writing, and taking pictures. I didn't accomplish my 50 books in a year goal, but I got reasonably close. I didn't accomplish my goal of consistently healthy dinner fare for the family, but I got reasonably close. I didn't accomplish my goal of writing a novel, but I did write more than I had since I lived in Chicago. I didn't reach my goal of being an artist, but I made some pretty pictures and some great strides in my watercolor technique. So no, I'm not nearly as perfect as I would ever wish myself to be and certainly not focused enough to accomplish all I'd like to, but I take pride in the this year's creative progress and process and look forward to more in the year to come!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Painted Christmas Cards
I thought it would be fun to paint my own Christmas cards this year. I liked the ones best whose ideas I got from the internet, but that's ok. I learned some fun techniques from the practice and had fun doing it!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Too Many Projects!
I have had way too many projects to work on lately and I keep coming up with more! Lately my efforts to read fifty books this year has been consuming a bunch of time, but I'm not going to make it. I will be lucky to make it to 40! I'm going to try, though. I enjoyed the latest book I read about Caravaggio. The book makes me think about the term genius and what it means to be an artistic genius and whether or not it is worth living the turbulent, passionate,crazed existence so many of these artists lived in order to be considered a genius and live on with this sort of immortality. I also began to realize that I have never stuck with anything long enough to get to a point where I'm not just blatantly copying other people's ideas and techniques.
I've also restarted my research on Gabriele Munter and Wassily Kandinsky. My hope is that I can research all this year and then take part in November's Novel Writing Month next year. I waver on how seriously I want to take this project. If I don't do it I'll be disappointed in myself. But there's a part of me that feels like a beginning piano student who wants to play Rachmaninoff but hasn't learned my note names yet. It's technically possible to go note by note and learn it, but is that the best way to proceed? For someone who has never even written a short story I care for, how can I think I could just sit down and write a novel. Then I see an interview on the woman who wrote Twilight and it makes me think, what the heck! WHo cares what anyone thinks and just write however I want!
We went to Festival of Trees for Melinda's birthday and had a good time. It has definitely gotten me in the Christmasy spirit. We even went out and got a Christmas tree and it's not even Thanksgiving yet! I want to try and paint my Christmas cards this year! We'll see....there I go making new projects for myself again. Ugh!
I've also restarted my research on Gabriele Munter and Wassily Kandinsky. My hope is that I can research all this year and then take part in November's Novel Writing Month next year. I waver on how seriously I want to take this project. If I don't do it I'll be disappointed in myself. But there's a part of me that feels like a beginning piano student who wants to play Rachmaninoff but hasn't learned my note names yet. It's technically possible to go note by note and learn it, but is that the best way to proceed? For someone who has never even written a short story I care for, how can I think I could just sit down and write a novel. Then I see an interview on the woman who wrote Twilight and it makes me think, what the heck! WHo cares what anyone thinks and just write however I want!
We went to Festival of Trees for Melinda's birthday and had a good time. It has definitely gotten me in the Christmasy spirit. We even went out and got a Christmas tree and it's not even Thanksgiving yet! I want to try and paint my Christmas cards this year! We'll see....there I go making new projects for myself again. Ugh!
Lake Noodle
I love this one! It makes me very excited about painting more. I really like how the water and the sky turned out. I am going to try and paint Tom and Lori's backyard next for a Christmas gift. I hope that's not too much pressure on me.
First Painting From Life
I'm reading several watercolor instruction books. One of them was specifically geared towards painting by photograph. Another was saying how important it was not to paint from photographs. That book guilted me into trying to paint outside. The first two attempts in my backyard (it's much harder, by the way, to get all the equipment and find the nap time to get some painting done outside) were pitiful. The photograph of this painting makes it look better than it does in real life. This was a pot of lantana that's growing over in our backyard. It got me a bit discouraged about painting for a couple days, but then Ben bought me new watercolor brushes and it sort of gave me my second wind and I was able to paint this next one that I really like!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Shadows on a Wekiva Springs Trail
This was one of the first pictures I took with my new camera when Ben took me to Wekiva Springs for practice. I wanted to try to recreate the shadows that zig-zagged across the white sandy trail. I'd like to try it again someday, even though I'm reasonably satisfied with this experiment. I think I learned some important things from this first effort that I could improve upon in a second try. The foliage, especially, was not what I would have liked and I wish I'd used more of a yellow green than a blue green. The shadows taught me about how much water to use to make the gray light enough but also smooth enough to make the steady line across the sheet of paper.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Angst
I have been keeping myself really busy with projects and fun days out and good times with Jhonen, yet I still feel this anxiety that I'm not making a difference in this world and my days are ticking by to quickly for comfort. Every day I have a bit of a knot in my stomach wondering and worrying about what I can do, what I should do, what I want to do. Indecisiveness, an inability to commit, and astronomical expectations of myself are starting to ensnare me in this anxiety web and I need to free myself one way or another. So that's what I'm working on when I'm not taking tons of photos, submitting some photos to this cool digital photography school website I found that gives weekly assignments, writing my little twitter poems, reading lots of books trying (unsuccessfully) to reach 50 before the end of the year, taking Jhonen out to visit relatives or to the park or to the zoo. Don't get me wrong! I'm having fun! There's just a sort of aching feeling like, if I'm not careful, I'm going to slip into a sort of meaningless existence and one day I'll look back and wish I hadn't given up on myself. There's an intellectual hole that I need to fill as soon as possible.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Painting #6
Here is another exercise from the Tao book based on the chapter about glazing. THere are some interesting glazing effects happening in this one. I like the vase and the circular form up top, but the background turned out a bit muddier than I would have liked. I think that is because of impatience. I need to let the darn paint dry more thoroughly before I start fiddling with more color and brush movement.
Painting #5
I haven't written in far too long. It's midnight, so I'm just going to post up these last two watercolor exercises I've done. I don't like this one, but I'll post it anyway. It was an exercise in ruffling which I didn't really get down very well. It's when you paint with water instead of paint. I wasn't very successful here, but it was a start. I like how the inside of the vase looks.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Paintings #3 and #4
I am reading a great book called The Tao of Watercolor and these are two little paintings I did based on two of the exercises in the book. I like them!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Second Painting! Bluberries!
Next watercolor is complete. The minute I saw the picture Ben took of blueberries on our trip to Maine, I knew I wanted to try to paint them. This painting felt completely different than the last one. It is on a smaller piece of paper, this time Arches 140 lb., much more detailed close-up rather than a sweeping landscape, and I limited myself to just three tubes of paint - yellow, blue and red - to use to force myself to mix paint and to see if it made for a more unified piece.
I think I like the outcome. I would have drawn the piece out more carefully next time as I don't love the placement of the blueberries. But I worked a lot on using the watercolor paints like watercolors, spattering, sponging, dripping, and swirling. It took me a surprisingly long time to finish and it was hard to know when I was finished. I feel like in some places I may have gone too far and in other places not far enough.
Today I sat down to play with the paint using examples from my Tao of Watercolor book. I'll post the outcomes soon! I also found a digital photography handbook that I'm reading and have a vague idea of how digital cameras work, which is cool! And I bought two cookbooks that should be fun to use. I'll take pictures of the more successful results.
This weekend: keep reading the book The Help and make our house feel like Fall! Halloween costumes, pumpkin candles, jack-o-lantern carving. Fun!
I think I like the outcome. I would have drawn the piece out more carefully next time as I don't love the placement of the blueberries. But I worked a lot on using the watercolor paints like watercolors, spattering, sponging, dripping, and swirling. It took me a surprisingly long time to finish and it was hard to know when I was finished. I feel like in some places I may have gone too far and in other places not far enough.
Today I sat down to play with the paint using examples from my Tao of Watercolor book. I'll post the outcomes soon! I also found a digital photography handbook that I'm reading and have a vague idea of how digital cameras work, which is cool! And I bought two cookbooks that should be fun to use. I'll take pictures of the more successful results.
This weekend: keep reading the book The Help and make our house feel like Fall! Halloween costumes, pumpkin candles, jack-o-lantern carving. Fun!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Best Pictures
I spent a couple hours today playing with my camera and discovered a few things about focus and other technical aspects of using my new camera, but I also discovered that taking good pictures is just as much about patience and awareness, a balance between stillness and movement. Wait for meaningful, interesting occurrences with an open mind. Seek out good shots with new perspectives, close, far, up, and down with perseverance. This was my favorite shot of the day and I think it demonstrates all of those lessons. This is an appropriate post because tomorrow is my birthday and my camera was Ben's birthday present to me!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
My first finished painting!
Since I wrote last, I did end up finishing the essay for the contest in Real Simple Magazine and completed my first watercolor painting! The scene is from a photograph Ben took while we were in Maine. I'm pretty happy with it. I really love the sky and the dock, especially where the water is lapping up on the dock. I feel so-so about the mountains and the water and wish the colors were a bit more vibrant . I bought some Arches paper and a different brand of paint, so I'm going to see which, if either, makes any impact on that. This painting was done on Strathmore 140 lb. cold-pressed with Winsor and Newton Cotman paint. I want to improve on color mixing for the next painting. As for the essay, I thought it was worth sending in though I didn't love it. I was just glad to have completed projects. I hate when I start projects and never finish.
Jhonen's birthday party was really fun. Now it's time for Ben's birthday. I've had fun planning his birthday, too, and will report on that later. Speaking of birthdays, mine is coming up and I've already gotten my main present which is going to be a huge topic on this blog from now on! Ben bought me a Nikon D40 Digital SLR! It's beautiful and takes amazing photos. I'm excited about it for many many reasons, but mostly because I'm always so desperate to remember everything and my camera will keep such a special record for me! Ben gave me a system to catalogue my photos and keep them organized, too. My camera makes me want to go to new beautiful places so I can practice. I started browsing people's flickr galleries and it's really inspiring. So many beautiful, captivating images! I have photo-taking envy, so I have to learn to take better pictures!
My twitter poems are fun. Some of them are terrible, some have potential to become something bigger, I think. In any case, it's fun to do and a good way to brainstorm for future writing.
That's the dabbling update! Hopefully I'll have some gorgeous photos to post next time! Maybe I'll get some good shots at Fort Myers Beach this weekend. Ben and I are going down there for my 10-year high school reunion. I'm excited to see my old friends. They are such a creative, intelligent, fun bunch of people. Should be entertaining!
Jhonen's birthday party was really fun. Now it's time for Ben's birthday. I've had fun planning his birthday, too, and will report on that later. Speaking of birthdays, mine is coming up and I've already gotten my main present which is going to be a huge topic on this blog from now on! Ben bought me a Nikon D40 Digital SLR! It's beautiful and takes amazing photos. I'm excited about it for many many reasons, but mostly because I'm always so desperate to remember everything and my camera will keep such a special record for me! Ben gave me a system to catalogue my photos and keep them organized, too. My camera makes me want to go to new beautiful places so I can practice. I started browsing people's flickr galleries and it's really inspiring. So many beautiful, captivating images! I have photo-taking envy, so I have to learn to take better pictures!
My twitter poems are fun. Some of them are terrible, some have potential to become something bigger, I think. In any case, it's fun to do and a good way to brainstorm for future writing.
That's the dabbling update! Hopefully I'll have some gorgeous photos to post next time! Maybe I'll get some good shots at Fort Myers Beach this weekend. Ben and I are going down there for my 10-year high school reunion. I'm excited to see my old friends. They are such a creative, intelligent, fun bunch of people. Should be entertaining!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wow!
It's September! How did THAT happen??? It has been forever since I've written and that's because I've had so, so much on my mind and so much to do! I've been completely obsessed with getting organized and making my bedroom functional and beautiful and...now it is! I'm so pleased and satisfied with it. I learned a few things from the experience:
1. Curtains make a huge difference. Don't skimp on them.
2. Bookcases are essential...at least for me. Go overboard on those, too...at least if you're like me.
3. You know all that stupid stuff that accumulates and you have no where to put it? My solution was to take a 16-drawer craft dresser and label it with categories like "media" for old DV tapes or weird CDs and "travel" for the gps and the camera and headphones and stuff. There really is a place for everything now!
4. Furniture doesn't have to match. Just have something that coordinates everything - black and white helps!
So my room is under control and will, hopefully stay that way. We've also worked on every other room in the house. The garage is next!
Beyond that, I've been reading the prequel to Anne of Green Gables and am almost finished with it. Sometimes you just need a pageturner! Now I want to reread all the Anne books and watch the movies again. They make me so nostalgic!
I've also been planning Jhonen's birthday party and getting Ben his birthday presents and finding a cute outfit for my ten year high school reunion. So many little projects!
The theme of Jhonen's birthday is "Jhonen's favorite things from A-Z." I'm going to go find pictures of him from his first year that represent his favorite things. Here's the list I came up with:
*Animals*Bananas*Cookie Monster*Dinosaurs*Exploring*Fireworks
*Grandparents*Hulk Hair*Ice Cream*
Jingle dog*Kota, my pet dinosaur *Leela*Mmmmmm*Nooooo*Overeating*Pigeon (from Mo Willems books)*Quality Assurance*Remote Controls*Swimming with Mr. Bubbles*Teddy Bear Blankie*Upside down!*Vacation*Water books*XOXOXO*Yo Gabba Gabba*Zippers
Then I'm going to print out the pictures and use them as decorations for his party. His Aunt Jenny is getting him an adorable cupcake tower and we're going to have bubbles and swimming and snacks and presents. It should be fun.
In my dabbling news, I started an essay today that I might submit to a contest IF I can finish it in time. I have five days. May not happen...At least I'm working on it, though. I also started a poetry twitter account. I write a little poem each day, 140 characters exactly, about something I experienced the day before. I think it will teach me a little bit about poetry over the course of the year while also serving as a poetic journal of sorts. I also got my desk cleaned off and ready for some watercolor experimentation.
So luckily my absence from writing here is due to beinbg busy and not the opposite. I love a project...or 10!
1. Curtains make a huge difference. Don't skimp on them.
2. Bookcases are essential...at least for me. Go overboard on those, too...at least if you're like me.
3. You know all that stupid stuff that accumulates and you have no where to put it? My solution was to take a 16-drawer craft dresser and label it with categories like "media" for old DV tapes or weird CDs and "travel" for the gps and the camera and headphones and stuff. There really is a place for everything now!
4. Furniture doesn't have to match. Just have something that coordinates everything - black and white helps!
So my room is under control and will, hopefully stay that way. We've also worked on every other room in the house. The garage is next!
Beyond that, I've been reading the prequel to Anne of Green Gables and am almost finished with it. Sometimes you just need a pageturner! Now I want to reread all the Anne books and watch the movies again. They make me so nostalgic!
I've also been planning Jhonen's birthday party and getting Ben his birthday presents and finding a cute outfit for my ten year high school reunion. So many little projects!
The theme of Jhonen's birthday is "Jhonen's favorite things from A-Z." I'm going to go find pictures of him from his first year that represent his favorite things. Here's the list I came up with:
*Animals*Bananas*Cookie Monster*Dinosaurs*Exploring*Fireworks
*Grandparents*Hulk Hair*Ice Cream*
Jingle dog*Kota, my pet dinosaur *Leela*Mmmmmm*Nooooo*Overeating*Pigeon (from Mo Willems books)*Quality Assurance*Remote Controls*Swimming with Mr. Bubbles*Teddy Bear Blankie*Upside down!*Vacation*Water books*XOXOXO*Yo Gabba Gabba*Zippers
Then I'm going to print out the pictures and use them as decorations for his party. His Aunt Jenny is getting him an adorable cupcake tower and we're going to have bubbles and swimming and snacks and presents. It should be fun.
In my dabbling news, I started an essay today that I might submit to a contest IF I can finish it in time. I have five days. May not happen...At least I'm working on it, though. I also started a poetry twitter account. I write a little poem each day, 140 characters exactly, about something I experienced the day before. I think it will teach me a little bit about poetry over the course of the year while also serving as a poetic journal of sorts. I also got my desk cleaned off and ready for some watercolor experimentation.
So luckily my absence from writing here is due to beinbg busy and not the opposite. I love a project...or 10!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Travel
Speaking of travel, and after just booking our next trip, a Western Caribbean cruise on the Disney Cruise Line for our 5 year anniversary (hurray!!), I thought how amazing it would be if every New Year's Ben announced where we would go that year for our anniversary and I'd have the whole year to plan it. I thought it would be fun to make a list of places I'd most like to see someday.
Peru and Macchu Picchu (spelling? I'll have to check that)
Zip line over rainforest canopies, maybe Costa Rica?
Skiing somewhere, and that sledding on a zip-line thing looks amazing. Colorado?
Back to Japan, cherry blossoms or winter ice festival maybe?
Long China trip...hold a panda!
Fjords in Norway
Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland
Pacific Northwest
New York City (see more of it)
Galopagos Islands (spelling, again!)
Istanbul and Back to Prague
Greek Isles
Hawaii
Back to California, especially San Diego. To Live? Yes, please.
Switzerland for cute towns, Germany for more cute towns, want to see Kandinsky's house.
Italy, Amalfi Coast specifically
Tanzania
Bora Bora, Tahiti, Gaugin stuff
St. Petersburg, Russia
Peru and Macchu Picchu (spelling? I'll have to check that)
Zip line over rainforest canopies, maybe Costa Rica?
Skiing somewhere, and that sledding on a zip-line thing looks amazing. Colorado?
Back to Japan, cherry blossoms or winter ice festival maybe?
Long China trip...hold a panda!
Fjords in Norway
Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland
Pacific Northwest
New York City (see more of it)
Galopagos Islands (spelling, again!)
Istanbul and Back to Prague
Greek Isles
Hawaii
Back to California, especially San Diego. To Live? Yes, please.
Switzerland for cute towns, Germany for more cute towns, want to see Kandinsky's house.
Italy, Amalfi Coast specifically
Tanzania
Bora Bora, Tahiti, Gaugin stuff
St. Petersburg, Russia
Hobbies
I'm in a new poetry phase. Is it just a phase or here to stay? Time will tell.
Chris's Mom had an amazing quilting machine and you could tell how proud of it she was and how having it would free her to do what she loved to do. I wanted that. I want to feel free to invest in a hobby. To feel that it could pay me back over time either financially or spiritually.
Can I? Is that in me to do?
I've tried so many things...can any of them fill that role?
Chris's Mom had an amazing quilting machine and you could tell how proud of it she was and how having it would free her to do what she loved to do. I wanted that. I want to feel free to invest in a hobby. To feel that it could pay me back over time either financially or spiritually.
Can I? Is that in me to do?
I've tried so many things...can any of them fill that role?
Been awhile!
This always happens...I try to keep up with a blog regularly, yet I fail again. I guess it could be worse. I am writing now, right?
In short, once I have a project, it consumes me. I get completely obsessive, especially if the project has anything to do with making something look nice or if it involves travel. In this case, it involved both. Getting our house in working order and looking good after shifting nearly every piece of furniture in it into another room while also baby-proofing it has been quite an undertaking and we're still not finished. We also just returned from a trip to Maine with Jhonen, the first trip I've taken since Ben and I went to Japan and the first trip we've ever taken with Jho, so planning and executing that trip has taken up every other brain cell I had to offer.
Beautifying and organizing the house has been really fun and reminds me how much I like home decorating (although I wish money were not an issue because my eye's desires do not match our cash flow). Going on the trip reminds me just how darn much I adore traveling! And sometimes I think that planning for the trip and planning for the home remodels is even more fun than the trip or the remodels themselves! I also had to remind myself that some plans go the way I, well, plan...and some don't. I got a Maine travel guide from the library and scoured every Maine tourist site on the internet and made our itinerary (google docs are great!). I knew I wanted to pick blueberries, eat seafood (that one was for Ben), see a whale or a puffin or both, go to a lighthouse, and hike. Some of those came to fruition and some didn't. Some did and they were better than expected and some did and they were worse. But as Ben reminded me, how could I know? And good job for coming up with stuff to try! So after Jhonen's first successful airplane flights, a gorgeous lighthouse, lots of seafood meals, a cute puffin shirt for Jho (sans actual puffin sighting), wonderful quarts of hand-picked blueberries, a gorgeous hike in Hobbitland and a less successful hike in creepy bum-forest, some great art in Portland, fun with Chris, his family, Leslie, her family, Melanie, Nate, and others, some peaceful, beautiful scenery, a boat ride, some wildlife (an owl, a dog-bear, a porcupine, some sheep, and Sadie the Springer Spaniel), I can definitely call this trip a fun and memorable success story.
Beautifying our bedroom is a whole other story entirely...
In short, once I have a project, it consumes me. I get completely obsessive, especially if the project has anything to do with making something look nice or if it involves travel. In this case, it involved both. Getting our house in working order and looking good after shifting nearly every piece of furniture in it into another room while also baby-proofing it has been quite an undertaking and we're still not finished. We also just returned from a trip to Maine with Jhonen, the first trip I've taken since Ben and I went to Japan and the first trip we've ever taken with Jho, so planning and executing that trip has taken up every other brain cell I had to offer.
Beautifying and organizing the house has been really fun and reminds me how much I like home decorating (although I wish money were not an issue because my eye's desires do not match our cash flow). Going on the trip reminds me just how darn much I adore traveling! And sometimes I think that planning for the trip and planning for the home remodels is even more fun than the trip or the remodels themselves! I also had to remind myself that some plans go the way I, well, plan...and some don't. I got a Maine travel guide from the library and scoured every Maine tourist site on the internet and made our itinerary (google docs are great!). I knew I wanted to pick blueberries, eat seafood (that one was for Ben), see a whale or a puffin or both, go to a lighthouse, and hike. Some of those came to fruition and some didn't. Some did and they were better than expected and some did and they were worse. But as Ben reminded me, how could I know? And good job for coming up with stuff to try! So after Jhonen's first successful airplane flights, a gorgeous lighthouse, lots of seafood meals, a cute puffin shirt for Jho (sans actual puffin sighting), wonderful quarts of hand-picked blueberries, a gorgeous hike in Hobbitland and a less successful hike in creepy bum-forest, some great art in Portland, fun with Chris, his family, Leslie, her family, Melanie, Nate, and others, some peaceful, beautiful scenery, a boat ride, some wildlife (an owl, a dog-bear, a porcupine, some sheep, and Sadie the Springer Spaniel), I can definitely call this trip a fun and memorable success story.
Beautifying our bedroom is a whole other story entirely...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Latest book project!
Finished! I really like the braids on the spine. You can't tell from this picture but this book is really tall and skinny and opens flat which makes it great for lists or daily journaling. I took careful notes and made myself diagrams so I can reproduce this project. I should try right away before I forget all the little tricks I learned making this one.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Living for the weekend
This Friday I was in one of those terrible mood funks I couldn't escape no matter how hard I tried. Ben came home and found me grumpy, tired, and frustrated and said just the things I needed to hear at just the right time. The main gist of his message was that we are going to stop living life in limbo, settle in, and enjoy ourselves! Stop acting like we might leave any moment (that attitude keeps stopping us from doing so many things from traveling to cleaning to participating in new activities to making friends). With that, we spent the rest of the weekend trying to remedy that trend.
I finished my bookbinding project (picture coming soon), watched three movies, started a new book (Vincent Van Gogh recommended it to me!), took long walks, reconnected with family, played in the new kiddie pool with Jho, cleaned, baby-proofed and organized Jho's room, reconnected with an old college writing partner, played Magic cards with Ben, and today we bit the bullet and went to Universal Studios! I needed that.
We are also planning a trip to Maine to celebrate our friends, Chris and Leslie's, wedding. I haven't traveled since our trip to Japan and I am so excited at the prospect.
Live, Jess. Don't just plan to live.
I finished my bookbinding project (picture coming soon), watched three movies, started a new book (Vincent Van Gogh recommended it to me!), took long walks, reconnected with family, played in the new kiddie pool with Jho, cleaned, baby-proofed and organized Jho's room, reconnected with an old college writing partner, played Magic cards with Ben, and today we bit the bullet and went to Universal Studios! I needed that.
We are also planning a trip to Maine to celebrate our friends, Chris and Leslie's, wedding. I haven't traveled since our trip to Japan and I am so excited at the prospect.
Live, Jess. Don't just plan to live.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Idea
I think that life is best lived paid attention to. I really like making books and I like writing about what I see and experience and collecting mementos to help me remember what I've seen and done. I had a fun idea of binding pretty books with matching boxes and include with them a pair of little scissors, a gluestick and some tape with a note from me explaining the book's purpose. I think the binding I'm currently using would be great for this type of journal. Maybe I should use it that way as an experiment.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Week #3, Goals
1. Finish my book binding project...for real this time!
2. Sew baby sling and get to the point where I could thread and use the sewing machine without Mel's help.
3. Read - which book? I have so, soo many that I want to read. I'm thinking my next EL Doctorow book I borrowed from the library, although I have Zola and Joyce waiting for me on my iPhone and I have Paul Theroux and the Roald Dahl book Jenny lent me and Thunderstruck and Austen. The list never shortens, only extends.
4. Get back to creative writing, at least my 3oo words a day.
5. Greeting cards, Jess. Get a few messages on some index cards, already!
2. Sew baby sling and get to the point where I could thread and use the sewing machine without Mel's help.
3. Read - which book? I have so, soo many that I want to read. I'm thinking my next EL Doctorow book I borrowed from the library, although I have Zola and Joyce waiting for me on my iPhone and I have Paul Theroux and the Roald Dahl book Jenny lent me and Thunderstruck and Austen. The list never shortens, only extends.
4. Get back to creative writing, at least my 3oo words a day.
5. Greeting cards, Jess. Get a few messages on some index cards, already!
Progress, Week #2
Wow, not much progress this week as far as my weekly goals. The days go by waaaay too fast. Just two weeks in and I'm back to my age-old question, do I let myself do what I feel like doing, even if what I feel like doing is not doing things that feel too difficult? I mean, I don't have to do anything. But I always feel the need to do something and I have aspirations of doing lots and lots of things. This week I felt like reading, so I did finish the book, The Yellow House and thought about art a lot, which felt good. I remembered how much I love Humanities and Art History. It made me want to read tons of art history books.
I also made some good meals and spent some quality time with family. Jenny came over for dinner and Adam came up! I learned how to play Magic cards and actually found that I enjoyed it! I played video games and found myself wanting to actually get on a basketball court and play a game. Weird! I tried to work on my book binding project, but found that I did the next step wrong and had to rip out the binding. Boo. I find with so little time to dedicate to any one project I end up doing a sloppier job than I would like to. I made patriotic brownies for the Fourth of July and made videos of Jhonen with my iPhone. Tomorrow I think Mel and I might get out the sewing machine and make the baby slings. I'll post pictures of the results! I think for my next sewing project (if there is one...we'll see how tomorrow goes...) I want to sew myself a cute apron. I wore one while I made the brownies and felt very housewify, in a good way!
So, the question is, if I'm going to ignore my weekly goals and do whatever the heck I want to anyway should I continue writing weekly goals at all?
I also made some good meals and spent some quality time with family. Jenny came over for dinner and Adam came up! I learned how to play Magic cards and actually found that I enjoyed it! I played video games and found myself wanting to actually get on a basketball court and play a game. Weird! I tried to work on my book binding project, but found that I did the next step wrong and had to rip out the binding. Boo. I find with so little time to dedicate to any one project I end up doing a sloppier job than I would like to. I made patriotic brownies for the Fourth of July and made videos of Jhonen with my iPhone. Tomorrow I think Mel and I might get out the sewing machine and make the baby slings. I'll post pictures of the results! I think for my next sewing project (if there is one...we'll see how tomorrow goes...) I want to sew myself a cute apron. I wore one while I made the brownies and felt very housewify, in a good way!
So, the question is, if I'm going to ignore my weekly goals and do whatever the heck I want to anyway should I continue writing weekly goals at all?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What Do I Want?
I'm dealing with issues of want this week - not really wanting what I can't have, but wanting things to happen that I have no power to make happen and wanting things to happen that I do have power to make happen, but I don't.
Wanting things makes me superstitious. If you just wear your lucky socks...maybe if I pretend not to want it, I'll get it this time....don't jinx it by talking about it...this one didn't come through because it wasn't supposed to....it will happen at the right time, it's just not the right time yet.
Wanting is why I'd have a really hard time being a Buddhist. And also why I should be one.
Wanting things makes me superstitious. If you just wear your lucky socks...maybe if I pretend not to want it, I'll get it this time....don't jinx it by talking about it...this one didn't come through because it wasn't supposed to....it will happen at the right time, it's just not the right time yet.
Wanting is why I'd have a really hard time being a Buddhist. And also why I should be one.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Week #2 - Goals
I'm going to start writing my weekly goals on Monday instead of Friday. I think that will work better.
1. Finish binding my book.
2. Finish draft #2 of Monster Island and write draft #1 of I Can Taste the Wind. Work on my cleaning article and the short story I have started if there's time. Think about the growing up article.
3. Work on what I want to submit to Papyrus and maybe find one more greeting card company to submit to at the same time.
4. Ben is off Madden now, so he will be home for dinners. Work on fun recipes to try out and dinners to enjoy this week.
5. I am reading a fictional account of the time Van Gogh and Gaugin spent together in France and it has rekindled my interest in writing a fictional account of Kandinsky and Munter in Germany. The author's bibliography made me believe that I could do it if I read and research enough and then use my common sense to wrangle the facts into a realistic fiction. I don't know that it is something I feel able to concentrate on or able to even write to the level I would want right now, but it is something I could mull around this week and maybe collect some sources that might serve me well for the project. Finish the Van Gogh/Gaugin book. Pay attention to how it was written.
1. Finish binding my book.
2. Finish draft #2 of Monster Island and write draft #1 of I Can Taste the Wind. Work on my cleaning article and the short story I have started if there's time. Think about the growing up article.
3. Work on what I want to submit to Papyrus and maybe find one more greeting card company to submit to at the same time.
4. Ben is off Madden now, so he will be home for dinners. Work on fun recipes to try out and dinners to enjoy this week.
5. I am reading a fictional account of the time Van Gogh and Gaugin spent together in France and it has rekindled my interest in writing a fictional account of Kandinsky and Munter in Germany. The author's bibliography made me believe that I could do it if I read and research enough and then use my common sense to wrangle the facts into a realistic fiction. I don't know that it is something I feel able to concentrate on or able to even write to the level I would want right now, but it is something I could mull around this week and maybe collect some sources that might serve me well for the project. Finish the Van Gogh/Gaugin book. Pay attention to how it was written.
Weekly Progress, Week 1
Goal #1 - Complete! Glue book covers for current bookbinding project - if I have time, finish the book. I used my wheat paste which did leave one light stain but it was, luckily, on the back cover and I'll just be more careful next time. I don't have a dremel with a small enough bit and haven't invested in screw punches yet so I used an awl to make the holes in the spine, but it worked well enough for now. Here's a picture of the progress!
2. Organize my greeting card messages and have 10 submittable messages by the end of the week and a list of five places to submit them. I organized my greeting card messages and picked ten that I think might be submittable. I only decided on one submission location, Papyrus. I need to find four more.
3. Continue to write my current story and draft an outline for my growing up essay for Real Simple Magazine. I stalled out a bit on this one, although I did write a basic outline for the essay which has nearly convinced me that the essay wouldn't be good enough. I need to think on this one a bit.
4. Go through my magazines at home and see which ones accept tips. Come up with two well-written tips. I have two well-written tips, but are not sure where I can send them yet.
5. If Mel's up to it, take out the sewing machine and get started on my baby sling project. Mel wasn't up to it last week and then, when we were both available to work on the project, the rings we need had not arrived yet. Instead, I made the strawberry shortcake cookies I'd been wanting to make forever and they were delicious, but best eaten same day. I also worked on my two children's stories, Monster Island and I Can Taste the Wind. The book Writing Mama has been great so far, although I'm spending too much time thinking and reading and not enough time actually writing anything much. I'm feeling a little down on myself the last two days ever since my book submission was returned to me. It felt like they'd rather pay than have to show my book and that feels terrible. Then I went to my childhood friend, Kristin's, wedding and was talking about bookbinding and book arts and the people at my table couldn't believe I did such a thing and thought it was amazing to even try. I need to remind myself that it means more to work and try and learn than it does to actually have some book sitting in a gallery. I'll try and remember.
2. Organize my greeting card messages and have 10 submittable messages by the end of the week and a list of five places to submit them. I organized my greeting card messages and picked ten that I think might be submittable. I only decided on one submission location, Papyrus. I need to find four more.
3. Continue to write my current story and draft an outline for my growing up essay for Real Simple Magazine. I stalled out a bit on this one, although I did write a basic outline for the essay which has nearly convinced me that the essay wouldn't be good enough. I need to think on this one a bit.
4. Go through my magazines at home and see which ones accept tips. Come up with two well-written tips. I have two well-written tips, but are not sure where I can send them yet.
5. If Mel's up to it, take out the sewing machine and get started on my baby sling project. Mel wasn't up to it last week and then, when we were both available to work on the project, the rings we need had not arrived yet. Instead, I made the strawberry shortcake cookies I'd been wanting to make forever and they were delicious, but best eaten same day. I also worked on my two children's stories, Monster Island and I Can Taste the Wind. The book Writing Mama has been great so far, although I'm spending too much time thinking and reading and not enough time actually writing anything much. I'm feeling a little down on myself the last two days ever since my book submission was returned to me. It felt like they'd rather pay than have to show my book and that feels terrible. Then I went to my childhood friend, Kristin's, wedding and was talking about bookbinding and book arts and the people at my table couldn't believe I did such a thing and thought it was amazing to even try. I need to remind myself that it means more to work and try and learn than it does to actually have some book sitting in a gallery. I'll try and remember.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Book Kit
I love kits. Kits are great for dabblers because they come with everything you need to complete a project, it comes with instructions, so you get to complete a project without having to collect the pieces, plan the project, and make a bunch of mistakes before getting the finished product. Ben bought me this bookbinding kit from Volcano Arts and I'm enjoying the process of making a book again. I love bookbinding so much, but have such a hard time finding the right paper, getting book board and cutting everything to the right size. I took the measurements of all the pieces so I can, hopefully, replicate the project with my own paper and cloth later. It feels like cheating, but...I think it's ok for now. I'll post pictures of the project when it's completed which should probably be by the end of this week, if all goes well!
The best thing about this project so far has been the use of wheat paste. I have always used PVA glue for my bookbinding projects, but always managed to accidentally stain my paper and cloth with the glue. The wheat paste which took minutes to make (in the microwave, no less!) is cheap, easy, stain-free, and moveable. It just takes a little while for the glue to dry which was fine for me since I do one step at a time during Jho's naps. The only time I had trouble with the drying time was when I tried to tuck under the mitered corners and the glue wasn't sticky enough to glue them into place immediately.
I've felt a little let-down every since my most recent book, Closure, was rejected from the exhibition in England. Working with this book is helping me remember how much I enjoy making books. I just need more practice!
The best thing about this project so far has been the use of wheat paste. I have always used PVA glue for my bookbinding projects, but always managed to accidentally stain my paper and cloth with the glue. The wheat paste which took minutes to make (in the microwave, no less!) is cheap, easy, stain-free, and moveable. It just takes a little while for the glue to dry which was fine for me since I do one step at a time during Jho's naps. The only time I had trouble with the drying time was when I tried to tuck under the mitered corners and the glue wasn't sticky enough to glue them into place immediately.
I've felt a little let-down every since my most recent book, Closure, was rejected from the exhibition in England. Working with this book is helping me remember how much I enjoy making books. I just need more practice!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Next Week's Goals
1. Glue book covers for current bookbinding project - if I have time, finish the book.
2. Organize my greeting card messages and have 10 submittable messages by the end of the week and a list of five places to submit them.
3. Continue to write my current story and draft an outline for my growing up essay for Real Simple Magazine.
4. Go through my magazines at home and see which ones accept tips. Come up with two well-written tips.
5. If Mel's up to it, take out the sewing machine and get started on my baby sling project.
2. Organize my greeting card messages and have 10 submittable messages by the end of the week and a list of five places to submit them.
3. Continue to write my current story and draft an outline for my growing up essay for Real Simple Magazine.
4. Go through my magazines at home and see which ones accept tips. Come up with two well-written tips.
5. If Mel's up to it, take out the sewing machine and get started on my baby sling project.
I ain't no housewife...or am I?
I guess I'm considered a housewife now. A homemaker? Ugh.I don't have a problem with my new job, just the title. Housewife does not do justice to the job description. You don't call an accountant a numberfriend or a teacher a lessonparent. How about referring to me as a Domicile Affairs Coordinator? Chief Residence Manager? Head Liaison to the Family and Homestead?
Wait a second. Can housewifery be considered a job? I don't get paid! I'm more like a volunteer, though I do get room and board and other fringe benefits. So I'm kind of like a housewife student. This is work study. Otherwise I'm saying that my husband pays me to take care of his house and his son while he's gone. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Being a housewife is like being on an extended work study program with high job satisfaction despite never getting a paycheck while my boss/benefactor is my husband and I decide how much or how little I do each day? This housewife business is nonsense.
It does leave me with mental energy to expend, hence the extra dabbling time, otherwise known as my son's nap time. It's a strange feeling to have to keep the spark of inspiration glowing until a baby's eyes decide to finally close, to continuously add to the to-do list and then sprint through it in those one to three precious napping hours.
Therefore, my dabbling requires parameters or I really won't accomplish a darn thing. My parameters for my dabbling are as follows:
1. Do Something Creative Every Day - the Paper Source motto and now mine.
2. Every Friday list five main goals for the coming week. That way I'll know what to accomplish when naps happen and I will have the weekend to really enjoy my family and not get too bogged down in guilt when I don't work on the myriad projects I have accumulated.
3. Keep a record of my dabbling on the blog, but at least one blog entry a week needs to be of high quality.
4. Know that at any point I can stop dabbling and focus on one thing if it feels right to do so.
Wait a second. Can housewifery be considered a job? I don't get paid! I'm more like a volunteer, though I do get room and board and other fringe benefits. So I'm kind of like a housewife student. This is work study. Otherwise I'm saying that my husband pays me to take care of his house and his son while he's gone. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Being a housewife is like being on an extended work study program with high job satisfaction despite never getting a paycheck while my boss/benefactor is my husband and I decide how much or how little I do each day? This housewife business is nonsense.
It does leave me with mental energy to expend, hence the extra dabbling time, otherwise known as my son's nap time. It's a strange feeling to have to keep the spark of inspiration glowing until a baby's eyes decide to finally close, to continuously add to the to-do list and then sprint through it in those one to three precious napping hours.
Therefore, my dabbling requires parameters or I really won't accomplish a darn thing. My parameters for my dabbling are as follows:
1. Do Something Creative Every Day - the Paper Source motto and now mine.
2. Every Friday list five main goals for the coming week. That way I'll know what to accomplish when naps happen and I will have the weekend to really enjoy my family and not get too bogged down in guilt when I don't work on the myriad projects I have accumulated.
3. Keep a record of my dabbling on the blog, but at least one blog entry a week needs to be of high quality.
4. Know that at any point I can stop dabbling and focus on one thing if it feels right to do so.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Embracing My Inner Dabbler: A Project
I dabble. That's what I do. I'm a dabbler. It's who I am. Dabbling is both my best and worst quality. To define my dabbling, I'd say it is my passionate desire to try and experience many things in many categories, but without the focus or passion to follow through on any of them. I believe myself capable of and interested in much, but either too lazy, too indecisive, too busy, too...something to accomplish much. I know this dabbler's spirit is probably a characteristic I share with many other people in this world, but for some reason, my definition of dabbling has really come to define me.
As one example, and the impetus for this blog, I have recently researched freelance writing, for magazines, in particular. I'm currently reading a book, Literary Mama, that suggests exercises intended to help the writer hone in on a specific audience and the most promising publications to approach based on the writer's interests and writing style. These exercises required me to write keywords to describe myself, choose the four that best defined me currently, and then delve into what makes me uniquely qualified to write something for those four particular audiences. I realized a few things while completing these exercises. First, I have too many interests, but very little actual knowledge or experience in any of them. Second, I tried to cram about forty interests into one audience...doesn't work. Third, I found myself writing the words young, fresh, beginner, new, and try a few too many times to ignore. I got the message loud and clear.
I decided that, rather than punish myself for 28 years of unfocused dabbling, I would embrace it, celebrate it, and share the results. Sure, I could decide to take one key word and focus in on it and push everything else out of my brain until I had mastered one thing, but...that's not like me, is it?
I knew a girl in college, she had the same name as me, and I thought her beautiful in an approachable way, intellectual in a genius-but-not-completely-nerdy-and-socially-uncomfortable way, and an altogether admirable person. She volunteered. She made straight A's. She looked like Cameron Diaz. But more than any of that, what I admired about her was her focus. She had wanted to be a doctor since childhood. She had done everything in her power to put her on a direct path towards being a doctor : active as a candy striper during high school, took every high school science she could, took all the right classes in college, continued to volunteer and intern with local hospitals, got excellent grades and went to medical school. Now she's a doctor. She is fascinating to me in that she is my life antithesis. I can't fathom that sort of passion for one subject. I don't lack the discipline that she has, but I do lack her focused desire and I envy hers.
To illustrate, here is just a sampling of the topics in which I have expressed interest just this month:
writing children's books
writing greeting card messages
writing a novel
freelance writing/entering writing contests for newspapers, magazines, newsletters, journals, etc.
blogging
home décor
home organization
rock climbing
basketball
attachment parenting
paper collage
jewelry making
agility training my corgi
home cooking
calligraphy
bookbinding and book arts
yoga
teaching music classes
Add the pile of ten books next to my bed that I want to read, a nine month old, a husband, and many baskets of laundry and my problem is clear. As I see it, I can scratch all but one item off my list and focus or I can embrace my inner dabbler and share my results with the world. For now, I choose the latter. Who knows! One of these days I might come across something that I'm just as passionate about as my college alter ego. So I will dabble like I have never dabbled before, attentively. If I can't seem to focus on a topic, than I will focus on my desire to dablle, to experience all that life has to offer me, which is a lot, since I like to experience just about everything! Here we go. This is a record of the projects, large and small, in the life of a quintessential dabbler.
As one example, and the impetus for this blog, I have recently researched freelance writing, for magazines, in particular. I'm currently reading a book, Literary Mama, that suggests exercises intended to help the writer hone in on a specific audience and the most promising publications to approach based on the writer's interests and writing style. These exercises required me to write keywords to describe myself, choose the four that best defined me currently, and then delve into what makes me uniquely qualified to write something for those four particular audiences. I realized a few things while completing these exercises. First, I have too many interests, but very little actual knowledge or experience in any of them. Second, I tried to cram about forty interests into one audience...doesn't work. Third, I found myself writing the words young, fresh, beginner, new, and try a few too many times to ignore. I got the message loud and clear.
I decided that, rather than punish myself for 28 years of unfocused dabbling, I would embrace it, celebrate it, and share the results. Sure, I could decide to take one key word and focus in on it and push everything else out of my brain until I had mastered one thing, but...that's not like me, is it?
I knew a girl in college, she had the same name as me, and I thought her beautiful in an approachable way, intellectual in a genius-but-not-completely-nerdy-and-socially-uncomfortable way, and an altogether admirable person. She volunteered. She made straight A's. She looked like Cameron Diaz. But more than any of that, what I admired about her was her focus. She had wanted to be a doctor since childhood. She had done everything in her power to put her on a direct path towards being a doctor : active as a candy striper during high school, took every high school science she could, took all the right classes in college, continued to volunteer and intern with local hospitals, got excellent grades and went to medical school. Now she's a doctor. She is fascinating to me in that she is my life antithesis. I can't fathom that sort of passion for one subject. I don't lack the discipline that she has, but I do lack her focused desire and I envy hers.
To illustrate, here is just a sampling of the topics in which I have expressed interest just this month:
writing children's books
writing greeting card messages
writing a novel
freelance writing/entering writing contests for newspapers, magazines, newsletters, journals, etc.
blogging
home décor
home organization
rock climbing
basketball
attachment parenting
paper collage
jewelry making
agility training my corgi
home cooking
calligraphy
bookbinding and book arts
yoga
teaching music classes
Add the pile of ten books next to my bed that I want to read, a nine month old, a husband, and many baskets of laundry and my problem is clear. As I see it, I can scratch all but one item off my list and focus or I can embrace my inner dabbler and share my results with the world. For now, I choose the latter. Who knows! One of these days I might come across something that I'm just as passionate about as my college alter ego. So I will dabble like I have never dabbled before, attentively. If I can't seem to focus on a topic, than I will focus on my desire to dablle, to experience all that life has to offer me, which is a lot, since I like to experience just about everything! Here we go. This is a record of the projects, large and small, in the life of a quintessential dabbler.
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